Writing Task 2: Allowing Women to Enter the Military

DISCLAIMER: 1) I AM NOT AN IELTS EXAMINER OR INSTRUCTOR. 2) PLEASE VISIT THE WEBSITES OF BRITISH COUNCIL AND IDP FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE IELTS. 3) THIS ESSAY WAS WRITTEN WHEN I WAS STILL A STUDENT. PLEASE DO NOT COPY MY WORK.

~~~~~~~~

Question: Some people believe that women should be allowed to join the army, navy and air force. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sample answer:

Nowadays, the line that distinctly separates women from men had become blurry, and gender equality has become a rising trend. Women are no longer confined to household tasks and more females are joining the workforce. This led to the belief that women should be allowed to enlist in the military just like men. There are those who oppose this thought, however, and believe that joining the armed forces is strictly a man’s business. As a staunch advocate of gender equality, I strongly agree with the proposition that women should be granted the same opportunity as men to serve in the military force.

There is merit to the opposition of others regarding the movement that allows women to join the armed forces. One reason is that there are many tasks within the military ranks that favor the masculine physique such as direct combat encounters, operating heavy machinery and the rigorous activities often required in several military operations. Scientifically, men’s bodies have more muscle mass compared to women and that is why males are more suitable candidates for the aforementioned tasks. Aside from the physical constraints, army personnel are often faced with highly dangerous scenarios and placing women within their ranks increases their risks for sexual assault. In fact, a study showed that almost 40% of the female members of the armed forces have suffered sexual abuse. These reasons, along with the traditional notion that women belong at home, are the main factors why some people disagree with allowing females to enlist in the military.

On the other hand, there are still some people who believe otherwise. To them, as long as the requirements for enlisting are met, gender is arbitrary. The benefits of allowing women join the military are many. First, it increases the available manpower that can be deployed, therefore multiplying a nation’s military strength and might.Second, the addition of female staff improves the pool of talents within the armed forces, as there will be more personnel to carry on specialized functions, such as espionage and infiltration of enemy ranks. The existence of Mata Hari–a female spy during World War I–is a frank example that women excel in the field of espionage and intelligence gathering. Lastly, the military is often involved in several rescue and outreach missions, and women are instrumental in providing their unique caring nature in assisting wounded civilians, primarily children and women as well.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that women should be allowed to join the military, as this will improve a military force’s status and recognize their invaluable contribution to society.

Score: 8

Recommendations/comments:
1. very good introduction with clear overview
2. good lexical resource
3. concrete examples with good supporting details

TIPS: for questions like agree vs disagree, it is optional to put your chosen side in the intro.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s