Writing Task 2: Increasing the price of petrol to solve pollution

DISCLAIMER: 1) I AM NOT AN IELTS EXAMINER;  2) PLEASE VISIT THE WEBSITES OF BRITISH COUNCIL AND IDP FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE IELTS; 3) I WROTE THIS ESSAY WHEN I WAS STILL A STUDENT

PLEASE DO NOT COPY MY WORK.

QUESTION: To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel.

What is your opinion on the above assumption?

Sample answer:

In a recent study published by the environment advocate group, Greenpeace, it was stated that 80% of carbon emissions that seriously damage the environment are from cars. Because of this, some people believe that in order to decrease the environmental damage brought by these toxic fumes, the price of fuel should be increased. Although there is a grain of truth in this assumption, I do not agree that raising the cost of petrol can significantly lower environmental hazards.

One of the major reasons why some individuals assert that making fuel more expensive will solve the global problem of environmental degradation, is because they believe that if the price of petroleum is high, then people will be discouraged from using their vehicles. This will then decrease the amount of carbon emissions which in turn will slow the destruction of the Earth’s atmosphere. While this may seem true, it is not entirely plausible because it does not guarantee that people will stop using their vehicles. There will still be some affluent people who can afford the high price of fuel and will continue its consumption. Another important factor to consider is that not all environmental hazards are due to the burning of fuel. For example, the pollution of bodies of water is caused by irresponsible waste management and not carbon fumes from fuel. Furthermore, radioactive substances that are toxic to living things are not directly related to petrol. In fact, these harmful substances are the result of nuclear energy, which is a common alternative to fossil fuel. Therefore, increasing the price of petroleum will not completely address these environmental issues. What is more important is the utilization of other sources of energy that are renewable and sustainable.

In summary, I believe that increasing the price of fuel is not the solution to the issue of environmental degradation. Rather, the development and use of alternative sources of energy such as solar, geothermal and hydroelectricity are more effective because these resources are naturally abundant and do not leave harmful waste products. as fuel does.

Word count: 273

Score: 8.5

Note: As previously mentioned, this essay was originally submitted when I was still a student, and back then, the score I got was 8.5. However, upon closer analysis, I find that this score needs evaluation. True, overall the essay is already at the band 8 mark, but it could’ve been better if the writer was able to expound on the alternative sources of energy that she mentioned, and if those were included NOT in the conclusion, but in the body (perhaps in a separate paragraph). Remember, the conclusion is just a summary of the points mentioned in the body, hence it should not contain new ideas.

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