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Question: Children in many countries are eating more fast food and convenience snacks.
Why are children doing this and how serious are the consequences?
Nowadays, in several nations, there seem to be a trend where children prefer to eat ready-made foods such as those sold in fast food joints. In a study conducted by a group of experts, it has been found that there are fatal effects associated with this phenomenon. This essay will discuss the reasons why this happens as well as its outcomes to the population involved.
There are many reasons why young people prefer to consume readily available food. Initially, one of the factors that contributes is taste. Children are more in favor of eating sweet, fried and tasty food such as hotdog and french fries. This is why these items are favored by kids. In addition to this, convenience is considered a contributing aspect to this scenario. This is because most fast food outlets are strategically located near schools, residential areas and shopping malls, making it more accessible to the younger age group. An example would be food stalls within school premises that entice students to buy their goods.
In view of the aforementioned reasons, the consumption of instant food and snacks may lead to health complications. For instance, a study conducted by World Health Organization (WHO) showed that high calorie diet can lead to increased weight gain between ages 3 to 12. Moreover, preservatives like monosodium glutamate present in instant foodstuffs may result to lower IQ and decreased concentration among children.
Therefore, in summary, kids prefer eating ready-made products due to taste and convenience. However,this unhealthy habit may cause obesity and poor academic performance.
Word Count: 235 words
SCORE: 7 to 7.5
Note: This essay was written by my students in one of our live writing sessions, which means that the students brainstorm together and construct the essay together. I only facilitated and provided input when they are stuck in a rut. Here is the breakdown and reason for this score:
Task Response: The question has 2 parts: a) what are the reasons why children eat fast food and b) how serious are the consequences of this scenario. In this kind of prompt, it is important to answer the two questions fully, otherwise, one gets a low score in task response due to inadequate elaboration of main ideas. This essay now gets a score of 7 in task response because the discussion is well-developed with good examples.
Coherence and Cohesion: There are adequate and varied cohesive devices. The ideas also follow a clear and logical progression. Also, there is a clear central topic for every paragraph. However, they could’ve used more flexible transition devices.
Lexical Resource: Vocabulary are appropriate and there were some less common words. They could’ve used idiomatic expressions, though.
Grammar: There is a mix of simple and complex sentences and varied complex structures, but a passive tone could’ve been utilized in order to get a higher score.